so i half-jokingly ask my architecture professor, "how will architecture get bush out of office?"

and she sighs, half-winks at me, and coolly replies "Tokyo has some really lovely buildings, but not many. Mostly this is a mean city, and it does somehow wear on people. I am always having little old ladies tell me how beautiful they find Chicago or Paris, and speculating why there are no cities - I mean none, not Kyoto, not Nara, none - that are lovely, or even have parts that are lovely in Japan. I think architects have not been able to offer a voice about the importance of urban space, and the result is that people have been happy for a long time to abuse this poor land to a degree even Bush can't contemplate. There is dioxin in the air, asbestos is not removed in any way that protects people walking around on or near the sites, and the sulfur content corroded my bike fittings in about 4 weeks. (No joke.)

Being in places like this makes me realize that architecture does matter to me, because it can enhance human dignity. That is not the only answer, but it is one I believe in. If you don't, you must find the one you can embrace and commit to."

my eyes are crying ashes. i'm so burnt out.

this semester i've organized a big concert against proposition 54 (war on 54), co-curated a student art gallery, wrote and co-directed a cartoon, read poems around the east bay, co-wrote and co-directed a multi-media play about the war, designed a webpage, and designed two buildings, while balancing two part time jobs and classes.

i've done way too much. i've embraced the things that i loved but instead of letting them enrich my life i let them take it over. i'm not sure if i'm a student anymore. it's hard to prioritize and hard to find time to actually learn from classes.

how can i let my outside activities feed my main work?

i need to admit to myself where i really want to be. i need to land back on my feet.

this winter break will be about confrontations.