Friday, February 28, 2003

i wrote this last night but decided not to post it because i didn't feel like sharing much but i do now. i was feeling restless and i wanted to just go out and go somewhere bad but i couldn't because it was like 4 in the morning and there was nowhere i could really go... but hey, maybe nowhere ain't bad. for now.

ps: i named it "boogie born" before i wrote it because i thought i was gonna write some philosophical booty music.

�boogie born�

as the sky fastens the stars
all we have left is each other
turn a little red in the stir of our songs
and makeshift mischief`
as we drift our hips into the chaotic collision
of the sound of poetry

we got to go
we got to go
so desperately through the city lights
past all the cool electric swirls we
mistake ourselves for
we got to go and go and go
i�m sorry for the rush
but i can�t stand
how our interrupted lips are petrified shut
how our words commit suicide down our mouths
how our feet trample and fall over themselves
when we cannot stand

silence was our assassin
but we won�t have it for any longer

we have to make our own stories
let our songs fire
from the barrel of our guts
pierce through our hearts
thrust our neck up
our mouths wide open
and fill the immense sky
with our winged words

our songs will become our homes
our homes now lost
will become ours again

we got to go
we got to go

the murmurs of memory overflow on our skin
in the ardent colors
with our stories within
we bleed with our words
from the wounds in our lungs
onto the black and white walls
we've lived days dazed for so long
this is how we bleed
this is how we're punished for the stains
we drip and drop onto a land
that scares and scars us

we go to get away
and tease another life out of our ordinary days
if we trace a road map of our history
from the sugar fields to the Laundromats
the mail order brides and the internment camps
are we defying our parents
who never told us their stories in spite
of our thirsty word


we got to go find it
you and i

we reckless flow breathless let loose on the street
like the burst from fresh fruit cut open to eat
we roam in red radiance and roll as two halves
til the restless night rests
by the sun at long last

where is our home?
our home
is right here

we got to go
we got to go

and go
and go
and go

we got to go
make our home
our own

Thursday, February 27, 2003

"kool kat kalendar"

kool kat kathy bach just made this rad event calendar for stuff going down in the bay area: kalendar. a ton of sweet ass stuff going down... a lot of poetry, hip hop, art galleries, conferences, film festivals, and jazz like that.

peep it and bookmark away.

"creative goals"

i spoke with theresa today about our creative plans. she's gonna put out a cd. i got my chap-sketch-book. dandiggity over at san jose has his cd AND a chapbook to work on. jimmy and i are taking another design job: we're gonna work on a calendar. we good vietnamese folk are gonna bumrush your butts with poetry and hip hop. but the project that i'm really interested in is the one i'm doing with kenny, scott, andinh, and jelly. it's this journal experiment. i'll share more later. but i really want you to be a part of it. yes. you. you. you.

oh, and there's that whole theatre rice thing too, which is pretty damn cool.

for a couple nights already, jason and i have both been up into the wee hours writing in our respective corners of the apartment. he's usually writing about his play. i'm usually writing about my play. we're both writing plays for theatre rice. this is a nice situation because when i get tired, i just look over my shoulder and i see jason writing and that motivates me a little bit more. this reminds me a lot of when i lived with marques. there was a time when we both would stay up late late just working on our respective poster designs. creative environments are good. i'd like to live with more artists. but not those overly-self-involved-needy artists. they can annoy me. your art is you. don't be so self-conscious... i should be saying that to myself.

Tuesday, February 25, 2003


these last two days i've spent as a nerd, listening to N.E.R.D.

big big big big ups to all the kids who helped put the "We Will Not Be Moved" event together. it was really freaking tight. bao phi, jayar, ishle, prach, theresa, jason mateo, derek, dandiggity, and maurice were all off the hook. bao has this beautiful poem about his father that i have to find again. the poets are heroes for me. yeah, i'm a nerdy fan boy.

my chap-sketch-book will be out by summer. i'm so on it.

Sunday, February 23, 2003


above the moon i just might find
my unfinished thoughts
bright memories that i've lost
after desperate disparate days full
of longing conversations in between glimpses of
hellos and goodbyes

my soul serenades the stars that
will never ever be completely counted
like the so many seconds
i've spent
in search
of a way
to get over the moon

whoever you are, where ever you are, i hope you find whatever you've spent so long looking for.

Saturday, February 22, 2003


stanford has such a beautiful campus i felt the need to destroy it with a sledge-hammer or, at the very least, steal a thing or two. i got an easel. andinh got a coat rack. i felt like i was one of ocean's eleven. i played it cool and duct taped my loot onto the roof of evelyn's suv. what are suvs good for if you can't stash your stolen goods in them?

i haven't written poetry in a week. poetry really stabalizes my life. this past week i've felt so wishy washy with nothing grounding me. poetry keeps me in check and tames my ragious thoughts and feelings. i notice that the things i think up may be bold or daring but i have a hard time follinwg through with any of it. what does that make me? a monkey?

oh, and i almost got killed (or at least badly brutalized) because of paranoia and a tasty cookie the other night.

ps: this just puts a smile on my face:
la dyc fu 111: ps. everyoen tonight LOVED the fyckin flyers

i'm not gonna be able to sleep. i'm too excited about tomorrow night. it's poetics baby.

Thursday, February 20, 2003


we're going to try to hype an idea up and turn it into a movement. just listen. you'll hear the hype soon. unless we get lazy. i'm talking about a little project me and some of my co-workers are starting up. you'll see. i'll share the secret soon. i like mysteries. until they get frustrating that is.

the walk home tonight was a little scary. it was worth it though. just because i got inspired.

i'm feeling somnambulistic now.

ps: i notice that a few people classify me as "crazy" (as in "do you know bruce?" "oh, the crazy guy?") i get other classifications a lot, like: "funny," "weird," "goofy," and "interesting." sure. yeah. right. whatever. i'm probably all that but i don't really perceive myself as any of that. i guess i see myself as too many after-thoughts, absent-thoughts, and over-thoughts. nah. not really actually. i care without caution and that gets me into a lot of trouble too. before i used to wonder if anyone really understands me but i don't really care about that anymore. be who you be and act how you act. maybe someone will understand you, or at least subtle shades of you... and that can be enough. but to be honest, the abscence of understanding is very underrated. we're afraid of what we don't know. but i say: i like not understanding people. it means there's so much more to learn.

dig and be dug in return.

Wednesday, February 19, 2003


TranA777: i miss you
TranA777: i really do
TranA777: i'm not just saying tha tuc zi'm drunk

an, it's such a shame that i have to use my blog to tell you that i miss you too.

Tuesday, February 18, 2003

"pink is the new baby blue"

i've been into dropping art and roccoco-ish scribbles onto my t-shirts and hats lately. i might tackle shoes next. i have this vision of a shoe made out of alluminum foil and toilet paper. don't worry. it'll look tight. you'll wanna rock em too. apparel for activism, baby. it's the next step. if you wanna make clothing too, chit chat with me. we're starting an outfit who sport mismatched outfits.

and i was supposed to write an anti-war poem tonight. sorry.

Sunday, February 16, 2003

"sleepwalking through history"

last wednesday, us senator robert byrd delivered a speech - Reckless Administration May Reap Disastrous Consequences - that i wanted to share with you. i'm thrilled that someone still has the balls to speak up to an increasingly silent senate in a time of near-war. here's a small excerpt:

"One can understand the anger and shock of any President after the savage attacks of September 11. One can appreciate the frustration of having only a shadow to chase and an amorphous, fleeting enemy on which it is nearly impossible to exact retribution. But to turn one's frustration and anger into the kind of extremely destabilizing and dangerous foreign policy debacle that the world is currently witnessing is inexcusable from any Administration charged with the awesome power and responsibility of guiding the destiny of the greatest superpower on the planet. Frankly many of the pronouncements made by this Administration are outrageous. There is no other word.

Yet this chamber is hauntingly silent. On what is possibly the eve of horrific infliction of death and destruction on the population of the nation of Iraq -- a population, I might add, of which over 50% is under age 15 -- this chamber is silent. On what is possibly only days before we send thousands of our own citizens to face unimagined horrors of chemical and biological warfare -- this chamber is silent. On the eve of what could possibly be a vicious terrorist attack in retaliation for our attack on Iraq, it is business as usual in the United States Senate."

i'd really like to know how my friends feel about the upcoming war. we all know it's a very serious issue but it's still not talked about nearly enough. some of us are hesistant. some of us are defiant. some of us just don't know. it all begins with a little discussion.

today i participated in the anti-war rally and march in SF. i hear 150 000 people were present. crowds upon children upon crowds coming together all at once. it was such a beautiful and haunting event. when i saw thousands of families gathered together on the grass, i was just overwhelmed with feelings of awe and regret. awe because it's mindblowing to realize just how many people are going through the same struggles as you. regret because... i really shouldn't say.

"some stuff that happened to me"

valentine's evening was tight. tallulah, luca, la, jelly, shioun, ben, and erin came by and we tore the kitchen up and chilled til the wee hours. painting in my room while tallulah rocked the guitar really reminded me of the dorms. she's a talented gal who's going places. i sometimes have to keep a cocky confidence when i try something new. operation: "ben and erin" worked out beautifully. i fell asleep on the floor and luca drew a penis on my cheek. bastard.

today was full of theatre rice. a lil kickback session with julia, chris, and jason ended the night just right. i didn't get a chance to go to the SF parade today. or the hip hop concert at la pena. or to "Chicago." but it's cool. desires are also memories.

the poet jimmy said "love is a simile for you to complete." i like that line, even though i have this strange ironic dislike for love poems (you only read/write them when you absolutely need to.)

Thursday, February 13, 2003

"tempo de amor"

ah... it would be so great to live in peace
without suffering, without crying
without hoping, without giving

the time of love
is the time of suffering
the time of peace
neither arieses nor dissappears

ah... this world where love is dead
i wish it was not mine

- from a song performed by smokey and miho's at tonight's concert.

miho hatori is sexy. rowr.

Wednesday, February 12, 2003

"brian and cyrus: online"

brian and cyrus have finally updated their webpages. finally. i've been waiting for this for months and months. i think both of their webpages hint at their personalities fairly well. there are some funny pictures on brian's site (i like jerry's photo portrait.) all this makes me wanna ressurect my webpage. i'll make that one of my creative goals of the semester. my other creative goals are:
- finish first draft of poetry/fiction chapbook
- finish "royal tenenbaums" watercolor collection
- design "apparel for activism" clothing
and whatever else may stumble my way...

"nothing really interesting to share except..."

Britney Spears was at the Sundance film festival and disruptly left the screening of a movie called "The Singing Detective." Apparently she said something along the lines of: "I didn't like the movie. ... Sundance is weird. The movies are weird - you actually have to think about them when you watch them."

today is national day of poets against the war. the story goes laura bush invited a bunch of poets to the white house to read poetry. it was supposed to be an event with a cheesy title like 'the voice of america.' i think she was expecting stuff like 'oh beautiful america how i love thee.' what she got instead was a movement of poets preparing a resounding voice against the war. she naturally cancelled the event. now on this day poets all over the country are going to speak and sing against the war. some bad shit are gonna go down all over the world very soon. let's have our tongues ready for it.

on another note, here's a nice little article about david choe, crazydope painter and mischief maker. i think david choe is rad.

Tuesday, February 11, 2003

"some venting"

"i'd rather see you make something simple and dumb than something inventive and out of place" says my arch100a gsi as she dismisses my "blasphemous" design. what a biatch. i know my design is flawed and all but she could at least give me some constructive criticism instead of letting her personal (and conservative) biases take over. i think her point of view probably represents how most of the world will see my work. whatever... i'm just a student. i'm still learning. i have to continue to explore my design until i find whatever it is i'm looking for.

i'm making my days up as i go along.

Monday, February 10, 2003

"quick note"

i like impossibility
if you tell me "nah, dawg, no way"
i won't say "yes way" i'm not in third grade
i'll just do it
i want to get hurt
you can call me crazy
but i have impossible dreams
i have to be crazy to reach them

[i'm just jibba jabbaing. my poetic creativity is at a low right now cuz i'm pouring my juices into architecture. do you believe that the moment you write a feeling or thought out, you lose it forever because you've just put it in words? there's a certain integrity that's lost when you spell something out, like how a vivid mental/heartful image fades away as you try to capture it with the pen. and if this is true, isn't it also true that you are losing yourself, little by little, as you write out what's inside of you? aren't writers full of nothing but memories?]

Saturday, February 08, 2003

"y'all gonna make me lose my mind..."

I wanna write away
I wanna write here
I wanna write brave words to fight fear
Write dreams and nightmares
Might scare the folks stuck in the day
But nothing to say,
Well I'm way ahead by light years
So beware we keep the lights on
I wanna write the songs from right to wrong
Right on
- talib kweli

[i just got back from the APASD retreat at the Marin Headlands. freaking beautiful there. twas very refreshing to hang out with all the good people. one arm wrestling on walls. searching for stones at the beach. unsuccessful scare pranks. spiking the water bottle. mafia-induced chaos. we let the good times roll, interns...]

Wednesday, February 05, 2003


no poem from me tonight
get your dose of fluffy metaphors someplace else
maybe you should write your own
this is not even a poem
it just looks like one

[today was not cool at all. i discovered upon this potentially tight architecture design sometime around 5 am last night and spent the next 4 hours fleshing it out like crazy before class. i was content with my work and took a congratulatory walk but i just ended up falling asleep on campus and waking up late for class. my GSI gets pissed at me and, get this, refuses to even look at my work! JEEZ. i've been in a piss poor mood since then... actually i haven't been feeling myself these past few days: i've just been up and down, up and down, up and down...]

"i do not know what a building can do"

hook me up with a dope idea
or at least
inspire me a little bit

[bahh arch100a. i couldn't get any work done tonight. i couldn't concentrate on my design. my mind is so tense. can i get a mind massage? i thought i had a tight concept but my idea was just not physically possible. usually i'm inspired by impossibility. tonight i just felt very frustrated. i needed to take a break so i just started walking outside and somehow the wind blew me back home. i'm going to take a shower and maybe pack some cookies because it's soon to be round 2. i'm gonna go back to studio and figure something fresh. this will be two nights in a row with very minimal sleep.]

Tuesday, February 04, 2003

"every day i play"

i run away
run away
run away so desperately
to curl around the promise of tomorrow
a warm dream who dims gradually gently
like the colors of the sun
at the very end
of every day in this world

tomorrow is never promised, they say
but there is something for us to save
before tomorrow comes
let's take hands
and play

[i chill and chill and chill. and the day's over. what a waste, huh? i'm tired of tomorrows. i will always make the most of today.]

Sunday, February 02, 2003

"haiku on wonder"

you are wonderful
in all-embracing freshness
i pause in wonder

[the weekend is almost over and i'm happy to say that i still have a lot to do tonight: paint a poster, figure out architecture concept design, compose a spoken word song, clean the dishes, clean the room, and maybe run a mile or two. you know, this has been a good weekend. especially yesterday: got some dim sum with jean, jimmy, luca, jason, and alex. theatre rice workshop was an incendiary blast. zachary's pizza at alex's was real tasty. classical music with sara, kathy, and sid was beautiful. and big booty outside sun hong kong was hilarious. i'm ready for more. let's turn this semester inside out everyone. bring it on.]