Sunday, September 28, 2003

these past two days have been about escape.

and breathing.

Friday, September 26, 2003

relief that architecture project the first is over and i can finally have a weekend to just chill (first one all semester!) inspired by progress of concert (everything is coming together)... until this morning, that is. too much drama and heartache and it's all because of... yes, you know the magic word... money.

by the way, latest polls say proposition 54 will pass.

if it passes i'm moving to the bottom of the sea, living in a submarine with turtles.

Wednesday, September 24, 2003

to understand the radiohead concert experience, imagine a company of dancing imps, a freight train with wings careening off a cliff, apple juice on hot nights, and indiana jones pausing for his breath as he dares to push open the lost ark.

thank you thank you thank you

it was a splendid experience beyond the most senseless imagery that i could ever imagine.

Monday, September 22, 2003

i'm listening to michael franti sing "don't fear your father/because a father is just a boy without a friend/don't fear to walk slow/don't be a horse race/be a marathon/and don't fear the long road/because on the long road you got the time to sing a simple song" and my heart is erupting, my soul is swinging along my hair, and a living light is exploding out of my spine.

why michael franti still isn't recognized as one of the soulful musical legends of our times is sadly beyond me...

"you can bomb the world to pieces but you can't bomb the world to peace."

for the dreamers and daily strugglers, please peep his cd and blare it loud wherever you may roam til your speakers blow out but never your beautiful words, your voice will never run low.

Sunday, September 21, 2003

fritz and lucy are swiss children who eat gelato ice-cream every day. their father is a german nazi officer who had a forbidden love affair with an american woman and desperately fled to switzerland (what makes a good love story is the degree of desperation.) they hid well but one unfortunate foolhardy mistake led to their apprehension and inevitable execution. fritz and lucy grew up alone, except for the quiet friendship of their ice-cream desserts. while fritz dreams of owning a hat store (hats remind him of gelato ice cream), lucy is haunted by the ghost of her grandmother, a cranky peg-legged woman who was once hitler's girlfriend (hitler has a thing for stumps.)

Saturday, September 20, 2003

i don't know why but i'm unable to properly channel my creativity into my life right now. i feel like a ghost, ungrounded from my body but bairly hanging on by the strands of my hair. i'm too old to wish for fairy godmothers.

Tuesday, September 16, 2003

another political post (third in a day!):

damn, i've been a howard dean (progressive democratic candidate for president) supporter these past few weeks but today i discover the potential coolness of retired four star general, former supreme comander of nato, wesley clark...
- vehimently against the patriot's act
- firmly pro-choice, pro-affirmative action
- anti-war

yes. the same general my dad loved a decade ago during the gulf war just might be an alright guy. i think this cat's got potential. let's hope he turns out to be the real deal.
this is a desperate must-read, from michael moore himself (written on september 15):


The following is an interview with the First Couple from the current issue of one of my favorite magazines, Ladies Home Journal (Oct. '03). They are asked about what September 11, 2001, was like for them personally, and, although over 3,000 people had just perished, George W. was able to find some humor by the end of that day:

Peggy Noonan (the interviewer): You were separated on September 11th. What was it like when you saw each other again?

Laura Bush: Well, we just hugged. I think there was a certain amount of security in being with each other than being apart.

George W. Bush: But the day ended on a relatively humorous note. The agents said, "you'll be sleeping downstairs. Washington's still a dangerous place." And I said no, I can't sleep down there, the bed didn't look comfortable. I was really tired, Laura was tired, we like our own bed. We like our own routine. You know, kind of a nester. I knew I had to deal with the issue the next day and provide strength and comfort to the country, and so I needed rest in order to be mentally prepared. So I told the agent we're going upstairs, and he reluctantly said okay. Laura wears contacts, and she was sound asleep. Barney was there. And the agent comes running up and says, "We're under attack. We need you downstairs," and so there we go. I'm in my running shorts and my T-shirt, and I'm barefooted. Got the dog in one hand, Laura had a cat, I'm holding Laura --

Laura Bush: I don't have my contacts in , and I'm in my fuzzy house slippers --

George W. Bush: And this guy's out of breath, and we're heading straight down to the basement because there's an incoming unidentified airplane, which is coming toward the White House. Then the guy says it's a friendly airplane. And we hustle all the way back up stairs and go to bed.

Mrs. Bush: [LAUGHS] And we just lay there thinking about the way we must have looked.

Peggy Noonan (interviewer): So the day starts in tragedy and ends in Marx Brothers.



Although America had just suffered the worst attack ever on our own soil, somehow this man was able to end his day on a funny note. I wonder how many of the 3,000 families who lost someone earlier that day had a funny ending before they went to sleep? Please read the above exchange aloud to anyone who will listen. It speaks volumes.


The first paragraph in yesterday's New York Times story on how Bush has taken a record surplus and demolished it into a record deficit was one of the best lead paragraphs I have ever read in a newspaper article.

Here's how it went:

"When President Bush informed the nation last Sunday night that remaining in Iraq next year will cost another $87 billion, many of those who will actually pay that bill were unable to watch. They had already been put to bed by their parents."

Bingo. Gee, I hope the kids thank us some day!

Here's the next paragraph (my emphasis added):

"Administration officials acknowledged the next day that every dollar of that cost will be BORROWED, a loan that economists say will be repaid by the NEXT generation of taxpayers AND THE GENERATION AFTER THAT. The $166 BILLION cost of the work SO FAR in Iraq and Afghanistan, which has stunned many in Washington, will be added to what was already the largest budget deficit the nation has ever known."

Every conservative friend of yours should weep when they read that, and then you should hug them and tell them that it'll be okay, once we all do what we need to do.


If you can't get through this list without wanting to throw up, I'll understand. But pass it around anyway. This is the nail in the Iraq War's coffin for any sane, thinking individual, regardless of their political stripe (thanks to and the Center for American Progress)...

To get some perspective, here are some real-life comparisons about what $87 billion means:

$87 Billion Is More Than The Combined Total Of All State Budget Deficits In The United States.

The Bush administration proposed absolutely zero funds to help states deal with these deficits, despite the fact that their tax cuts drove down state revenues. [Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities]

$87 Billion Is Enough To Pay The 3.3 Million People Who Have Lost Jobs Under George W. Bush $26,363 Each!

The unemployment benefits extension passed by Congress at the beginning of this year provides zero benefits to "workers who exhausted their regular, state unemployment benefits and cannot find work." All told, two-thirds of unemployed workers have exhausted their benefits. [Source: Center on Budget and Policy Priorities]

$87 Billion Is More Than DOUBLE The Total Amount The Government Spends On Homeland Security.

The U.S. spends about $36 billion on homeland security. Yet, Sen. Warren Rudman (R-N.H.) wrote "America will fall approximately $98.4 billion short of meeting critical emergency responder needs" for homeland security without a funding increase. [Source: Council on Foreign Relations]

$87 Billion Is 87 Times The Amount The Federal Government Spends On After School Programs.

George W. Bush proposed a budget that reduces the $1 billion for after-school programs to $600 million -- cutting off about 475,000 children from the program. [Source: The Republican-dominated House Appropriations Committee]

$87 Billion Is More Than 10 Times What The Government Spends On All Environmental Protection.

The Bush administration requested just $7.6 billion for the entire Environmental Protection Agency. This included a 32 percent cut to water quality grants, a 6 percent reduction in enforcement staff, and a 50 percent cut to land acquisition and conservation. [Source: Natural Resources Defense Council]

There you go. In black and white. A few million of you will receive this letter. Please share the above with at least a half-dozen people today and tomorrow. I, like you, do not want to see another approval rating over 50%."

an inspiring e-mail from peter gee. i feel like i'm in the fight club.

"The election is STILL ON for October 7th.

For at least the next seven days, the election is still on! Although the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals voted today to postpone the election, the decision does not take effect for seven days (September 22nd). The pro-recall parties have said they will appeal to the U.S. Supreme Court, and we will have to wait to see whether the Supreme Court decides to get involved before we know whether the election has really been postponed.

Given the uncertainty in this situation, we must not relax our efforts to educate and mobilize voters across the state. If the Supreme Court decides to allow the election to proceed, we will only have two weeks to get our voters to the polls, and we must build on the momentum of the past few weeks. So we must continue � and even intensify � our efforts to Defeat 54! Now, more than ever, we still need your energy, your time, and your financial support.

Victory is in sight.
This October 7th, Vote NO on Proposition 54.

Saturday, September 13, 2003

one of those nights where you grow red like sunsets. one of those nights where we all dance like lunatics and if you're not dancing you must be the crazy one. i thank my blog for any poetic imagery i can come up with in a freestyle. jimmy's got mad verbal hops, it's unstoppable. wonderbar for tan for freestyling too. tan has hair that dares to box with heaven. our philosophies are diamonds, i want to enclose them into an earing and carry them close to my ear wherever i go. tonight we destress and realize how blessed we are. incredible friends. congratulations to scott for becoming a palindrome.

Wednesday, September 10, 2003

creative focus has been all over: on architecture, on concert organizing, on poetry, on personal writing, on moviemaking, on poster designing... i'm excited about a lot of projects that i'm working on, but i'd rather not talk about them. rather show, not tell. if you see cool stuff from me, great. if you don't, you will soon.

Tuesday, September 09, 2003

godbless the skyful eyes of her star-by-star smile. a make-belief miracle, fireflies in a bottle, ultralight, and giver of bread. yes, she, she who can make honey dance out of the tea cup. when i hold her hand i know the sun must be jealous. oh, she's beautiful, but she's a PILL.

on an unrelated note, i'd like to sing all my melancholy out, pour it all into a jar, and toss it into the ocean for some lonely fisherman to find. be forewarned, i don't sing like a singer, but like a poet who patches a broken voice with bandaids of words.

Monday, September 08, 2003

"i get so excited everytime a new radiohead album comes out because i KNOW i would be able to write non-stop for the next two months!" - saul williams, on his favorite music.

a lesson reminded after hanging with saul: you will find your voice when you embrace the unknown. make it a daily practice to leave your comfort zone. discover the blank page and fil it. if you're not careful, you'll end up where you're heading.

sometimes we have to live poems first.

Sunday, September 07, 2003

you�d tell me dance like an imp with an idiotique grin, and perhaps an oversized trucker hat. to throw dictionaries against walls and watch vowels summersault across words to become "aaaaaaaahs" or "aiiiiiaaaaiiiis." to yell, in song or gregorian chant. to rummage through old photographs and make fun of old hairstyles. and once sufficient "donutizing" has taken place, discover the state of being "cheered up," like someone discovering the smell of raspberries and mint leaves.

you are indomitable and young.

don't pull a bruce and cry until your hair turns white.

Friday, September 05, 2003

i wasn't invited to return to theatre rice this semester.

i've been acting like a fool for years but it is only now that i really feel like one.

sad. very sad.

Thursday, September 04, 2003

i am so overwhelmed with studio and concert organizing. studio is horribly painful, even though i do enjoy the company there (while not bossed around.) i've been having a series of political chats with several people recently. jimmy proposes that children's books might be a small answer to social ills (get em early) jade (not theatre rice jade, a studio jade) laments how europeans make fun of her for having bush as a president, and tallulah and i extol prof. roy and how much of a good mindfuck she is. sorry, that was sort of crude.

Tuesday, September 02, 2003

a note to the theatre ricers:

i've received a surprising number of responses about my earlier message and i feel bad because i haven't had time to reply to all of them yet. there is a prevailing misunderstanding in the message i wrote: i didn't write my e-mail in hopes of getting a recount. i didn't write my e-mail to "win supporters" of my point of view. i didn't write it to make people feel bad about the way they vote.

i wrote it because i wanted to call into consciousness how things are now in theatre rice.

here is an excerpt of an e-mail (a history thing) that i sent to one of my friends, in response to her asking me what i thought about chris chen's plays as well as the dramatic skits we've done in the past.

"the dramatic skits we had were very daring and beautiful things, but they all came into being because some members were frustrated with comedy troupe and called for something else (back then termed as "tragedy troupe.") the semesters we put dramatic skits up were only a few years ago but came during a time when theatre rice had NO writers and NO real play submissions to choose from. for two semesters (or was it three, i can't remember?), the only play submission that we had was the street fighter play. that was a time when most of our first generation, older members left. we had a lot of young talent with no strong creative voices yet. our only outlet was the comedy troupe. because of that, we created a mid-semester show that was solely comedy. this mid-semester show (spring 2001) made theatre rice mainstream on campus, we had our first sell-out show, and we saw our first "line that stretches all around dwinelle" later on that semester. the audience loved the comedy. it IS a beautiful thing that i would never want to severe from theatre rice.
but understand that the mid-semester show first came into being during a time when we had no absolutely NO play submissions. we live in a different time now, where we are suddenly overloaded with submissions (a result of our
sudden popularity as well as writer's block.) for every chris chen play that goes up, there are a lot more that actually don't. each play is rejected for a different reason. some are rejected because of length, some because of subject matter (there are two plays in the recent past that weren't able to be put up because they were about LGBT issues and our committee felt that theatre rice wouldn't be able to address those issues honestly... even though the written plays were able to beautifully.) but quite honestly, a lot of good plays are dropped because we don't have room for them. i'm not saying that we should put all these plays in. i just want ourselves to realize that we get more and more quality submissions every semester and unfortunately, we have to drop more and more quality submissions every semester."

i'm not calling for instutionalized forced changes. that would be unnatural. i'm calling for consciousness, at the very least. i want us to be aware that the structure of "comedy mid-sem show" and "mixed assortment of everything showcase" was created during a different time of period of theatre rice. i will stand by all decisions theatre rice makes, but i will question it too. i'm not saying that we don't have the guts to change. i'm just saying, when the time comes...

are we ready or not!

we'll move on because we're always moving, where we'll move to is all up to you.

Monday, September 01, 2003

yes, i should learn to not be annoyed with the inconsistencies of some of my friends. some people you can depend on, and some people you can't. lessons you learn in the playground but you forget over and over again.