"disorderly"

my room is in mad disrepair. clothing everywhere. papers disorderly dispersed. i dwell in such chaotic conditions. but i survive. for how long? i admit: my life is a mess right now. i have no schedule to follow. i think too much and want too much and give too much and keep too much. i am volatile. i am hyperactive. i am mellow. i am quiet. i am too many things at once i can't keep track of who i am. now i'm just thinking too much, can't you tell? anyway, the worst is when whiney thoughts like these pop in your head over and over while studying. it's horrible. horrible i tell you. how you kids keep your As in college - and all its drama - amaze me.