tonight, give me watercolors and a holga camera, a blown kiss tipping off the wing of a jumbo jet, india ink and a lover’s lower back, a sketch scrawled with writing lips, eyelashes, and fingernails, i want hesitation, uncertainty, a rusty fish hook in my chest and strings spun out of spit and sweat, muscles muddied, shadows of sparrows shaped with entangled hands, grant me the clumsiness of not knowing, the terror of being lost, let me fight with every ounce in me, lose terribly, and want what i haven't got.

and tomorrow, i will wake up at 8. take a shower. put on a tie. go to mcdonalds for breakfast, and go to work.