even though i come home from architecture studios at 4:30 in the morning (thank you, sara, for driving me), i find myself unable to sleep at night, no matter how tired i am. these times, with gentle street cleaning machines buzzing in the distance, give me the opportunity (or curse) to think in my room. lately, i've been feeling moody and disheartened because of the desperate political and social landscapes we live in, here in america. it's a terribly tragic time. while the fall of saddam's regime is a relief to the whole world, the war on iraq is a living breathing testament to how our government manipulated us through lies and forged evidence, while costing us (and still costing us) a billion dollars a week to maintain. our economy is bankrupt, (we've lost millions of jobs in the past 3 years.) we're also living under the patriot's act, which grants the goverment's total access to all information, a nightmare straight out of orwell's 1984.

yes, the days are depressing.

but i am cheered.

i am cheered because of the power of blog (not a joke.) blogs are a revolution of free world-wide information for all. there are lot of beautiful and very well-informed blogs out there that are a wealth of information to read, such as the blogs of writer danny goldberg and the "the right christians". insane reads. i'm lost in these and their links for hours sometimes.

i am cheered because of the grass-roots activitsts. there's an incendiary passion at activists meetings (inspiring, until a heated debate.) i am trying to get more involved in activism this semester more so than ever. some amazingly creative and talented kids and i are all trying to destroy creno, one of the most fucked up and dangerous (and unfortunately little known) initiatives to come to california.

i am cheered by do it yourself media. i am empowered to the fullest effect in film (thank you andinh) and poetry (thank you jimmy.) the media is a language that we've lost but must now regain, train, and sing our hearts out with.

i am cheered by my loved ones, loved ones of crab and beer, thai temples brunches, long rides to los angeles and back, drunken freestyles, late night confessions at sun hong kong, songs at cafe jun, "24" marathons, birthday kidnappings, architecture all-nighters, sproul sunbathing, walking the dog, rice pinkies, fried chicken, and waffles, and getting lost on freeways after a late night movie.

i am cheered by jimmy and ed's birthdays.

and now, i will be cheered by sleep.

cheers.