"can i just say..."

... it's been the craziest damn week. i've been holding back from posting on the blog because i felt i couldn't honestly capture how i felt with words... but honestly, that's a failure on my part. i can always capture on how i feel with words. that's poetry. it's unstoppable. a big middle finger to the columnist who wrote poetry is dead in newsweek a wee bit ago. it lives and breathes. this young vietnamese chinese poet is only one in a huge movement that's set to blow out.

but back to my week. so damn crazy. the weekend previous looks like an insane blur but the week begins with an exhalation on aim. a slight swiveling confession with someone. and then with someone else. i get pushed and pulled and slowly, finally, i end up at cafe milano, on a tuesday night, on sa-i-gu. i walk her home and we're delirious. we share strange laughs. the days pass. i have heart to hearts with the people who listen. i have one today, over jazz music, in my room and we hug and we hug and we ever so gently let go. i then find myself on the streets of berkeley, pushing a car, sipping on drinks, and finding a place to hide from the rain. we go to one where it's cozy on the couch. i return home. in the elevator i feel like crying and i'm not sure why. i'm sorry and i'm thankful and i'm broken and i'm healed and i'm touched and i'm lost and i'm found and i'm unbelievably lucky.

and june jordan says

"let me not forget about
or
let me not forget about
anything like
anything like
an eyelash
lost above your lips"

and i say

i haven't forgotten a thing. i will write poetry soon. i'm inspired yes. but now... now it's time for me to get some rest.

dope song: elliott smith's waltz #2 ol' elliott was a dear friend one summer a long time ago. one of those summers where you play the same CDs on repeat over and over again and you just can't let go of that certain feeling you find and find again in your songs and your music.