"after all..."

after all that i've made
after all that i've lost
after all that i've miraculously won
there's still so little that i can offer you
except for a solitaire confession:
tonight
under sinking stars
i know nothing

i know not about your grace
nor about tearful faces, your outworn clothes
wind walks, and the sky in goblets to drink from
i know not about the morning star brushing your eyes

i know nothing
and i sacrifice so long wondering
until the day comes:
i wake up
with a want for electricity and torrents
in the alcoves of my skin
but i lack the fury in me
so i lean my head against my window
and wait and wait
for the light to come

this is life, they say
our floors are so full of crumpled time

i have to remind myself to
live suddenly
live suddenty and feel the motion again
i need to move i need to move
until i'm swallowed by another mid-autumn dream

but
i have a disobedient soul
who asks
with a tremble and a thirst
who are you?