shittiest moment of work:

the director, eric, is setting up a shot with his cinematographer, rob. we're in a garden, and joan chen is having breakfast with charisma tashima. eric turns around and whispers, "bruce, come here." i think, wow, this is it, he's going to explain to me how filmmaking is like astrology, how you gotta catch shadows and and craft stars outta mirrors and 1200-volt spotlights, or maybe he's gonna tell me a secret, how in this scene joan chen plays a girl he hasn't met yet, and that she acts by holding her breath and pretending that she's always underwater, or maybe he'll just confess that he doesn't know what he's doing, ever.

i scoot over.

he doesn't look me in the eye and hands me a chewing gam wrapper: "throw this away for me."